Why I Believe

First Seed

I did not become a believer overnight. In fact, I was a stubborn lost sheep, as Jesus called it in the Bible. Growing up in a family with an atheistic dad and a Christian mom who did not go to church or read her Bible, I have vague idea or who God is and what he can do for me. Then God touched my heart the first time, when I was about 7.

I saw a show on TV about a man with nasal cancer. His face was completely deformed because of the surgical removal of the cancer cell, and he had no nose. I could not bring myself to look at him and thought I've turned to the horror movie channel. Then he started to talk. The joy in his voice caught me off guard. He talked about this guy who had given him hope in the midst of misery, in the thick of pain. I could not catch much of what he said but did remember staring into the hole that was his nose and then heard him praising and giving thanks to this guy named God. I was confused. Then his wife, a gentle and simple lady, joined in him on stage and started to sing a, mine, just a lovely song with him, this man who looked like a corpse but who sang like an angel. I did not know why, being only 7, but my heart was full of warmth and unspeakable joy. I did not even notice that I was crying, until my aunt stopped by and was amazed to see that I've been watching a Christian testimony. Embarrased at being seen crying, I wiped my face clean hurriedly and turned off the TV, but my heart was changed. It was as if a tiny flick of flame was lit in my heart or in my soul. It was small and almost evasive, but it was there.

This is how God has planted a seed of hope in my heart, at the tender age of 7. I've seen for the first time how someone who should be in agony but was relieved by grace. This has given me a glimpse of how God's love changes one's live. And his love has certainly changed and is still shaping my life.  

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